First, some heart pouring:
I used to think that meeting The One would knock me over the head, leaving me dizzy with happiness forever and ever... Instead, I had homework to do, which conveniently enough he would be able to do for me. I sported a baby blue Dell t-shirt with a large image of a PC on the back of it (I knew he liked computers and I wasn't messing around!), a denim skirt that showed my legs so at least he would get something out of it, and probably flip flops since I don't remember wearing any other shoes during college. Fast forward from that fateful day in 2002, and we went through graduations, breakups, job changes, new cities, vacations, an engagement, and ultimately the breakup. Love. Schlove.
Despite everything, I am not spending today feeling bitter, regretful, or resentful, because more and more this last year I have learned to love myself. I realize that I cannot depend on The One or The Next One to make me happy, because it's entirely in my control (and he can leave!). I am challenging myself in new ways, accepting failures, applauding successes, taking chances, and being grateful for the little things that stay the same. I have nursed relationships with family, separated myself from negative people and replaced them with positive and inspiring friends. I have learned to push personal boundaries and care less about what other people think. I am learning that a lot of being happy comes from making others happy. I am learning what love really is, and what it can be.
So with renewed optimism, a positive spirit, and lots of love, today I'm celebrating a healed and open heart.
xoxo
Thursday, February 14, 2008
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6 comments:
Woo hoo!
Yikes. That sounds . . . dramatic. I'm so glad that you're celebrating yourself and all your loveliness today!
I heart you!
Beautifully stated. Here's to a year full of love in all of its varieties!
This is a beautiful post Ash.
Love ya lotz
Ryan
I like the way you write and what you have to say. No kidding!! You go, Pook.
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