"Are You a Two Olive Girl?"

For pre-concert drinks last night, T and I tried out Capitol Club, a Meditterranean/Morrocan inspired bar and restaurant. The bar upstairs was crowded (in a good way) with lots of little tables and a room-long bench strewn with a rainbow of silk pillows. In the center of it all was a DJ and...an MC? Freestyler? What do the cool kids call these people (all of who are obviously way cooler than me)? No idea.

Regardless of what they're called, this guy was a trip. He was very serious but talked freestyled about things ranging from going to his girlfriend's for Thanksgiving to the plate of frites that were coming up the stairs. I desperately tried to avoid eye contact in fear he would pick something out about me, but it ended up happening anyway (I'm not sure what it is about my quickly drinking two martinis that frequently gets me noticed, but that's probably another story).

He called out to me on the microphone to ask me what I was drinking (martini, obvious) and was it dirty. I sheepishly replied yes and feared his next question would ask if I was dirty also, but he spared me and asked instead, "Are you a two olive girl?"

This stumped me. What does it mean if you say you are a two olive girl? What kind of impression would my answer announce about me to the audience (who thankfully, wasn't giving any of this much attention)? The possibilities raced through my head while I stared down into my two-olive martini, and I finally uttered a lame, "I'm not going to eat any of them."

So there you have it, I proclaimed to be a "Zero Olive Girl." Truthfully, I would be fine with that title (I think?), except I really do like olives. A lot. Whether they're in a martini or bloody mary, straight out of the jar (jalapeño stuffed, mmmm), baked cheddar olives, on pizza, in sandwiches, in salads...I'm channeling "the shrimp guy" from Forrest Gump here--You get the idea...I love olives. Perhaps Hundred Olive Girl would be more appropriate.

Now what does that say about me?!?!?

Quick note: I tried googling "two olive girl," "olive girl," "olive girl martini," etc and came up empty. One humorous result, though, was on a teen health site about these girls who were inquiring about the connection between having olive skin and chest hair, appropriately using the alias, "Olive Girls with Noticeable Chest Hair." Aww, to be young and so curious about our bodies again...really glad that's over!